Waynflete House Eton College
To the Trustees of the St Nicholas Society
c/o Eton College 28 July 2018
Dear Sirs
I am writing to thank the trustees of the St Nicholas Society for their generous financial support which enabled me to travel to Lourdes last week to take part in the OMV pilgrimage. It was my first visit to Lourdes and many people had told me that it was very difficult to describe the ‘Lourdes experience’, I now understand what they meant. I will try to give the trustees just a flavour of my own experience this week. I enjoyed myself hugely, and although I arrived home completely exhausted I am very keen to return next year if I am able to.
One afternoon I was in a café in Lourdes with another volunteer, accompanying a veteran hospital pilgrim, Cathy. She spotted a couple from Liverpool, on their diocesan pilgrimage, and made a bee line for them. Steve, from Liverpool, told me that he was always impressed by the OMV. He highlighted two points. Firstly the OMV are willing to take hospital pilgrims who are far more disabled than most other pilgrimages. These are pilgrims who would not normally have the opportunity to travel to Lourdes because of their extensive nursing needs– they need hoisting and help with all aspects of personal care. Secondly he loved the dynamism and energy of the OMV. Everything the OMV do – whether in the Domain, on the hospital wards or in the evenings – is done with obvious passion and energy which lifts the whole town all week.
‘Baptism of fire’ is probably an overused epithet but it just about does justice to my firstafternoon in Lourdes, fresh from a 26 hour coach journey from London. Keen to work hard from the beginning, I arrived on the ward and went straight up to a middle aged man whoI’ll call Dave. Dave has severe learning disabilities and spends most of the day watchingcartoons on a portable TV set. He is great company, an OMV regular and very popular withthe volunteers. The only rule with Dave is that you must never say “hello”, “sorry” or “boy”.My first ever interaction with a real hospital pilgrim was with Dave but unfortunately my one day training course at the Oratory School had not included any advice specific to him. I went straight up to Dave,
“Hello, I’m Ollie”.
Dave was obviously offended and became upset.“I’m so sorry,” I said.
Dave became even more agitated.
Before I managed to find a way of, inexplicably, saying “Boy” I was rescued by a moreexperienced member of my équipe. Confidence shattered, I wondered whether it could get any worse? In fact, and as a result of the intervention of the other volunteer, Dave and I were soon firm friends.
The next morning was even trickier. I was part of a group of four responsible for helping another experienced hospital pilgrim to get up, washed and dressed. I will spare you the details, not least out of respect for the patient and for those for whom this sort of care is an everyday detail, but my learning curve was steeper than vertical in the first hour on the ward that morning. I have spent the last three summers volunteering in an orphanage in Sri Lanka and this year at school I have been once a week to the local hospital to talk to elderly patients but none of that was preparation for personal care of a paraplegic pensioner. All I can say is that I surprised myself and after that first morning no task in Lourdes held any terrors for me.
It might sound a little clichéd but I learned a great deal from the hospital pilgrims. Not just from their patience and humility in having a sixth former change and fit a convene or nappy, taking so long and with such little skill, but in the stories they told and just their good company. I learned very quickly not to jump to conclusions about anyone.
I also learned a lot from my fellow volunteers. I was particularly impressed by those who have already started jobs, post-university, who give up a precious week of holiday to cometo Lourdes. My team leaders, the ‘soutiens’ who are old-hands/ veteran team leaders, and many others were inspiring to work for. They lead by example, they are kind and patient, they know when to give encouragement. They guided me through.
I had great fun, probably averaging three hours’ sleep a night. The ‘Bronx’ closed at about2am and I was up bright and early every morning. If I was burning the candle at both ends then it was one of those big fat ones that Italian pilgrims buy at the entrance to the Domain. I did not want to miss a minute more than was necessary of this pilgrimage.
I enjoyed mass in the grotto, and went to mass in a lot of other places too. One afternoon I accompanied a rather shy hospital pilgrim to the Stations of the Cross mass. He preferred for us to sit apart from the others, at the back. When he fell asleep his snoring was so loud even the priests on the altar could hear. It was hard enough for me to stay awake without the additional worry that everyone might think we had both chosen to come to this mass for a quick afternoon nap.
I made many friends from other schools – Ascot and Shaftesbury of course, but also Harrow, Worth, Cardinal Vaughan, the London Oratory and Downside (sharp as ever, the Gregorians asked what BTECs I was studying). There is no age hierarchy on the OMV and I made many friends too who are students or now in jobs.
There were only two current Etonians on this year’s pilgrimage but a significant number ofOEs, many of whom are now in positions of significant responsibility within the OMV. I hope other Etonians will come in the future and have as good an experience as I have. I am
very grateful to the St Nicholas Society for giving me the opportunity to go this year and I would love to return.
Yours sincerely
Ollie de Bono (JMOB)
From Krzysztof Herka
As a gap year student just about to enter university, I considered joining the OMV’s pilgrimage last year, but, unfortunately, could only decide on my plans after the deadline. Therefore, I did not hesitate in applying for this opportunity this year, especially as accessibility and assistive technology are areas in which I have had some introductory experience in and which I would like to pursue in the future. Nevertheless, the main issue with this technical approach is a tendency to see individuals with disabilities as their disability, as mere users of assistive technology. I hoped that this experience would inoculate me against this way of thinking. The week widely exceeded my expectations in this regard, as well as many others!
These thoughts meandered their way around my mind as I began the infamous twenty-two-hour coach journey to Lourdes. Although I was slightly apprehensive at first, being slightly older than most first-time volunteers and younger than the organisers, groups of strangers quickly became friends – any awkwardness is quickly dispelled when supporting a hospital pilgrim, as there is just no time for such trivialities! One such circumstance, one which I will remember for quite a while, was singing Jerusalem at full volume with a hymn-loving pilgrim during his morning shower, together with another volunteer, whom I had never met before. Experiencing Lourdes with the hospital pilgrims also gave us the opportunity to get to know them better, sharing, for instance, stories of travel or enjoying poems written by a pilgrim during the farewell party.
Joy. That is perhaps what the Lourdes pilgrimage is founded upon. From the joy of a shared faith, from the beauty of the Marian procession through the hope of the Laying of Hands Mass to the often underappreciated joy of human contact and company, it would be quite a challenge to not be affected by it. During our brief excursion to the local lake, I had the chance to accompany, together with another volunteer, one of the pilgrims, a young man with whom communication is extremely limited, for a brief dip. Sharing in his laughter as we splashed each other sitting on the lakeside, he reminded me of the joy of the mundane, of the everyday, something that we often forget, as oft-repeated as this is.
This was just one of the many lessons that I took from Lourdes. Having no first-hand experience in care, I did struggle at first, and had to rely on senior volunteers for support – as well as on some of the hospital pilgrims! This was certainly humbling, and was a necessary reminder of what we can easily forget in our modern and competitive world, the courage needed to admit that we need assistance of any form. Thankfully, I grew more and more accustomed to my duties and enjoyed them to a greater extent than before. Seeing assistive technology in action, for example, listening to a pilgrim announce her prayer intentions using her ‘talker’, was, and remains to be, an inspiration for furthering my interest in the area.
The spiritual side of Lourdes cannot be overstated. Any attempt that I could make to describe it in this brief report will necessarily be a flawed and severely incomplete one. Nevertheless, despite the pilgrimage only lasting a week, I was home. It seemed as if I was in Lourdes for months, not merely a few days. Despite enjoying, on average, approximately three hours of sleep a day, I was far more invigorated and refreshed than after seven or eight outside of Lourdes. Of course, the sense of community created by the activities of the week played a part in this, as well as the beauty of the services, accompanied by the magnificent voices of the OMV choir, however, I cannot deny the thought that there must be more to it. Even some of the conversations we had in the local bar, affectionately named ‘the Bronx’, were quite personal and touched upon matters of faith, certainly unusual for a such a venue! I must also admit that Lourdes has led me to reflect upon my own faith, and how I can truly live it in its entirety. Again, to resort to a cliché, the Lourdes atmosphere has to be experienced – and I wholeheartedly recommend anyone thinking about joining the pilgrimage to do so!
Our departure from Lourdes was rather telling of the pilgrimage as a whole – hectic, but filled with the joy of friendship and companionship. Running from bus to bus with equipment, I made sure to pop in to say my farewells to as many of the HPs as I could. Within the space of seven short days, we had all become a community, from an array of strangers.
Hence, I am grateful to the OMV for organising this wonderful pilgrimage, and the Trustees of the St Nicholas Society for their support in helping me to attend this year, yet another opportunity afforded to me by Eton College. As a sixth-form scholar, it would be quite a task for me to enumerate every opportunity provided me by the College and associated groups! I look forward to joining the OMV whenever possible again – in fact, I will join their pilgrimage to Walsingham this year!
11th September 2018